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SMS in a messPosted by Timm on 17th February 2010

I recently returned back to my home town of the Gold Coast and quickly found myself catching up with friends I had missed whilst on my last little trip to the southern state.

I was having a ball until my phone suddenly started ringing non-stop. A few back-to-back calls, and the obligatory voicemail messages for the calls I missed while on the phone to the other callers, had me worried that there was a great emergency that had somehow unfolded as I was enjoying my icy-cold beer overlooking my favourite stretch of sand (Kurrawa Surf Club in Broadbeach if anyone wants to look it up).

Alas, there was no great emergency but one of my tech savvy nerd mates (yes I have some outside of StorMan) who was on his phone whilst we were having a beer updating his Facebook status. To those blissfully unaware of Facebook and its appeal: simply put it is a social networking website that allows friends and family to be kept abreast of the coming and goings of those they are friends with and then the friends of those friends and so on.

If what I just said makes no sense to you don’t fret, you are not alone, but the social networking craze is alive and well with my mates (and family now) and allows them to sit in a pub and let the world know who they are sitting with, what's on the lunch plate that got delivered and what they think of the latest sport/political/movie news.

 

As the phone calls poured in I started to get confused as to how so many of my mates, who weren’t with me at the time, not only knew I was having a beer with my lobster lunch but who was sitting where at the table and what colour eyes the waitress had. OK... maybe not that extreme but I was either being stalked or my mates had developed psychic abilities whilst I was away.

Most of the phone calls started or ended with the phrase “When were you going to tell me you back?”. I felt bad for each friend I had inadvertently failed to reach before I returned home until one thing started to dawn on me. Upon my return home to call everyone and arrange to catch up, I would have needed to make 112 phone calls given my current friends database in my mobile phone. However those 112 people only needed to make 1 call (to me) to see how I was travelling and what was happening.

I then put it in work terms and realised the best thing I need for my social life is a copy of StorMan (only 150 units to start with; I am not that popular). I could then get all my mates and family (from here on in called customers) to fill out a contract that says they will call me once a month to check their account. I could have an automated SMS message for when I am at work and unavailable, when I am attending the footy, when I am going fishing and last but not least when I am calling all accounts due.

Then on each customer I could apply incidental charges, how many beers they owe me or I owe them, any DVD’s they may have borrowed, any money they owe me for bad tips on horses (you know who you are), when I need to call them for birthdays and important days and a monthly reminder to call them on their renewal day to remind them it was “their shout” or “my shout” next time for lunch. Potentially I could also have a reminder sent to them for MY important days so they don’t forget my birthday.

 

Sure, my SMS bills will go through the roof but surely it is going to be quicker and cheaper in the long run than 112 five minute phone calls to everyone each month. Skipping the phone calls each month will save me a minimum 10 hours which will allow me more time to find more friends who let’s face it have to be better at tipping horses than my current mates. Sure it sounds impersonal but streamlining my life to run similar to a well running storage centre, marina or appliance rental company would solve a lot of problems and with the increased effectiveness of the saved phone hours and the increased effectiveness of the horse tipping it would pay for itself very soon.

It would reduce my arrears too and those that owe me a beer, lunch and a decent horse tip (you know who you are) could find themselves with a tax inclusive invoice to hand their accountant come the end of financial year. All I need to do now is study the SMS dictionary (yes - there is an online one), to decipher some of my most recent texts...

1 - CUL8R = See you later
2 -10Q = Thank you
3 -YGIAGAM = Your guess is as good as mine

 

If you ever need help deciphering a teenagers' SMS code, this may assist you. And eventually, with the help of StorMan, maybe we can add some of our own that your customers will get to know...

1 - PPYB = Please pay your bill
2 - RPPYB = Really, please pay your bill
3 - 10QFPYB = Thank you for paying your bill

...and until next week as the Monty Python lads say: ALOTBSOL!

 

Regards,
Timm (International Sales Representative, StorMan).